Marital quarrel, past and now, how to tackle

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If you live in a couple, fight is commonplace. In long marital life, the content of the fight also changes as time passes. I would like to work out a countermeasure by comparing the contents of fights with the contents of such fights after marriage and after 10 to 20 years.

People can not live alone when they are born, so they live with the help of someone. And although there are individual differences, from around the age of teens, he/she starts trying to live separately from adults and try. Around this time, the separation of parents “I want to live as I like” starts. And, he/she will be conscious and live “as I like”, then they will be called “adult”.

And even though that person has lived as you like, one day that person can make a favorite person and gets married. It is common to live together under one roof when you get married. You must live together with a person who is not a family member. Because I love each other, I think that it is the initial feeling of marriage that it does not bother to live together.

However, even such a loving couple who seems to be in good standing may not be able to accept the “I” created over the years. In order to live life, you will be jealous if you do not make some rules. 

I got married

Relationship with new relatives

This pays attention to the relationship with the mother-in-law, the father-in-law, as well as the partner’s relatives uncle, aunt, etc., and strikes the stress on the partner. This is common. It is the content of the argument that tends to call someone especially at the wedding seat. And if you are going to live with the other’s parent, the stress continues after marriage and you will anger your partner. 

Buy a house

This is a difficult shopping that, unlike accessories and clothes, must meet each other’s wishes simultaneously. Where you grew up when you were small also affects the choice of location for your home. As much as possible, I would like to choose a place close to the familiar environment that I felt comfortable with, but this is an important discussion if people from completely different lands.

Parenting period

A child is born

Up until now, you may have been able to get along by exchanging ideas with your partner, but from this point on, another family member is joined and it is not a person who can discuss and solve it easily. I will try my daily hard child care duties while being healed looking at the cute figure of the born baby. Continue to work together, leave the child care to a third party, work-centered, or, either will be around for 24 hours with a focus on child care, here is also the cause of the arguments.

From around this time, people come to speak the word “I have no time”. I think this is a word that is emitted when your own time has been deleted by parenting and the rhythm of your life has changed. And then you are frustrated. At this time there are often conflicts with partners.

Thinking about the future of children and deciding on an education policy

Clearly, I do not know the future of my child. So, parents compare with other children and let them go to lessons with a feeling of “more than that child” or go to a private school etc. Of course, doing this costs money. Some partners are dissatisfied with having to work and have most of the money paid for their children’s education.

Over 10 years of marriage

Mutual feelings in long marriage

Have you ever wondered, “you should understand my feeling without a word!” However, it is common for partners who don’t listen to even if asked repeatedly. It seems to especially happen in their 40s full of age and confidence.

Ignore without listening

After many years of marriage, it has been repeated many times, and it is interpreted as “again, that’s the story!” This is a danger signal for couples. I recommend early resolution if the ignorance starts.

Management of wallet

What is particularly likely is a problem that occurs between one who are trying to raise their children and the other who says that “the money I earn”. There is also the word “a key person”, but this is exactly a team play, and it is like a couple playing team play. If you don’t make money but you work hard to support your family, you should be able to discuss wallet management well.

Marital quarrel changed with the development of technology

Speaking of things that had a great impact on the couple by the development of technology, the first thing that comes to mind is the emergence of smartphones. I think that communication tools have changed considerably now and in the past. It was hard to say anything about it, and it was more talked about in the text etc. On the other hand, there are also people who communicate in harsh terms with e-mail or text. Some people are afraid of emails from partners and some people get depressed.

Isn’t navigation useful for the development of technology? It was possible that I could go to the meeting place without being lost, lost my way and was late, and the number of times of argument was reduced. Besides that, when I went by car navigation, I could no longer sit in the passenger seat, read the map, get into troubles without being able to navigate well. I’m nostalgic that I had a large, bulky map open for navigation.


From the above results to live in a good relationship with couples

  • Understand each other’s relatives
  • Buy a home with a reasonable location condition, taking into consideration the place where the partner grew up
  • The period to bring up a baby is considered as team play and help each other
  • Since it is difficult to predict the future of children, educational expenses do not become stressed by planning well.
  • Always tell, don’t think your partner understand everything without words.
  • When it comes to being ignored, give them many opportunities to talk
  • The money coming into the family is shared with all the family members, while saving as well
  • Communicate what you want to say using communication on your smartphone if you prefer.
  • Navigation is always up-to-date not to be frustrating to keep up with meetings.

Marital quarrel is often based on lack of communication that can not be discussed at the basics. Of course, it is very important to discuss and understand each other because they are people who are different from each other. Sometimes it is important to understand and agree with the other person’s feelings. If so, I think that the other party will also listen to this opinion. Sometimes I look at the cute pictures of my partner’s childhood and feel like I love my child, and it might be one way to forgive it. In addition, some people find that they want to do it themselves, and because they spend less time together, they can keep distance and work well.

There are many things, but the basics may be solved with this long life, to talk better with each other to talk and hear each other.

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